Friday, December 25, 2015

MR Santa's Slay

Christmas is over, when I say it's over!

Time to spread a little yuletide FEAR!

Movie: Santa's Slay
Directed by David Steiman  
Release date 2005
Genre Horror comedy/Dark comedy/Christmas film
Country Canada/USA

You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout I'm telling you why - Santa Claus is coming to town!

Have you been nice or naughty this year? It's time to pay your dues! Or Santa will come to get you!

Santa's Slay is strangely possibly one if not the best thing ever produced by blockbuster film director Brett Ratner.

It's a very fun silly film written and directed by David Steiman, a former assistant of Brett Ratner. And since this remains his only directional effort to date, it's also his magnum opus. The man can retire from the industry, nothing he would ever make could be as truly unique as this film.

The film was produced for Media 8 Entertainment, and it was released on December 2005.

Don't let its direct-to-video nature distract you, it's a really fun horror comedy film unlike any other.

Our story opens on Christmas as we see this wealthy dysfunctional family getting butchered by a rampaging Santa Claus who dispatches them all quickly in a few minutes through all types of random kills.

After the opening credits alluding to the origin of this weirdly different take on Santa Claus, Santa arrives in this weird quirky little town of Hell Township on his sleigh pushed by his "HellDeer". Once there, Santa starts killing everybody that crosses his path while looking for someone, or "something". From an entire strip club to the local Jewish deli.

Our main character is this kid Nicholas Yuleson (I see what you did here movie, "Son of Yule", and his first name is like Saint Nick's? That's no coincidence..). You see, his grandfather is this crazy inventor that lives hidden in a bunker inside his own basement. Grandpa tells Nick about the true origin of Santa Claus. He reads him the tale of Santa from "The Book of Klaus". Santa is actually a demon that lost a bet, Saint Nick's really the Anti-Christ, the spawn of Satan. Wait a minute.. Satan/Santa.. The clues were there all along! Santa used to slaughter people on Christmas back when it was called the "Day of Slaying"... until he was defeated in a curling match by an angel who tricked him to be nice and give gifs to children for a 1000 years. But now he's finally free and he's come to town looking for that angel to have his revenge!!

Nicholas and his girlfriend Mary Mackenzie end up on Santa's sight and having to make a run for it. Turns out Nichola's grandfather was the angel in question! They try to hid at the school but they're finally forced to confront our Father Christmas.

They finally blow him up in the sky. The police finds the body, only it's a crooked pastor from earlier in the film dressed in a Santa suit... while the real Santa Claus escapes to return another year...

Have you been naughty or nice this year?

Santa's Slay is a film that never takes itself too seriously. It's written tongue in cheek and all in good fun thanks to its plain ridiculous premise...and it just works!

The film doesn't waste a single second, it just jumps right in the action. In fact you could say there's no real plot either besides the basic exposition to explain things up. No character development, nothing not relevant to Christmas aside from providing an excuse to just see Santa on a rampage killing people left and right. Starting before the opening credits with the family Christmas dinner which is easily one of the best sequences of the entire film. This 10-minute opener sets the tone of the carnage that ensues. 

Santa's Slay offers a really surprising take on this world-beloved Christmas figure. Actually drawing some inspiration from lots of parts of the actual Christmas and ol' Saint Nick stories.

Bill Goldberg plays what seems to be the role of a lifetime. This former pro wrestler and football player is perhaps the only person who could have made a convincing crazy slasher demon Santa Claus come to life. He really seems to be having so much fun in this role. Goldberg is a man whose best qualities have always been beating people up and looking angry. Well, here he gets to do both playing the role he is perfectly suited for. Making this huge 7-foot tall Santa the most fun killer you'll ever see in a slasher film!

The film stars Douglas Smith, Robert Culp, Saul Rubinek and Dave Thomas. We also get to see plenty of familiar TV faces, such as the surprisingly decent Emilie de Ravin (Claire from Lost) and the entire family from the opening scene played by guest actors including The Nanny herself Fran Drescher, James Caan (!), Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart and the twins Alicia and Annie Loren.

Santa's Slay us a really fun film. With some really inspired sequences, despite a few misfires here and there.

The film turned out a lot better than it really should have. Having some trouble with doing Santa's reindeer, they ended using a single bison (!)... which really saved the whole thing in my eyes. And despite the costs Brett Ratner feared the film would cost, they really kept it at minimum. The film also almost never got made due to an incident involving the trailers caught on fire while filming one of the last scenes!

I really like the little bonus we got in the form of Santa's "true origins" told through a really short but fun stop-motion puppet sequence which spoofs the classic Rankin/Bass special.

This Christmas-themed horror comedy is such a fun crazy rollercoaster ride of a movie! Usually type of movies end up relying on serial killers dressed as Santa Claus... But not this one! We get such a fun twisted take on the legendary jolly Father Christmas! Bringing Santa back to his supposedly demonic roots!

Santa quickly starts killing people left and right. Jewish deli owners, strippers, kids, pets.. anything goes!

If our main kids are kind of generic (although they're fun characters of there own with decent lines), Santa's the real star of the show here. He makes for quite a fun slasher. The film never tries to make him scary. This is a silly as it sounds. But it's a really fun film. With a Santa killing both naughty and nice people. Christians or Jewish. The victims are both sinners and innocent.

It's a bizarrely entertaining Christmas horror film. The perfect Christmas slasher film the whole family can enjoy!

The film strangely doesn't really contain any gore, so even kids can enjoy this one - I guess. It's kinda more cartoony than anything, really. Actually that didn't even disappoint me much. It's just so much fun!

Santa is turned into a bloodthirsty demon. Usually these sort of films rely on killers dressed as good ol' Saint Nick. This is a really fun unique twist on this naive pure childhood figure. Playing off some elements from the actual myth, perverting this character into a cruel monster. And it's such a fun idea!  For once the killer Santa is not another traumatized kid who grew up to be a killer.

It's a surprisingly fun cheery slasher film! A truly fun enjoyable terrific B-movie. If you don't find yourself enjoying this film, consider yourself dead inside!

The music of the film was composed by Henning Lohner who made a really fun soundtrack comprised of fast-paced ambient score and metal tracks to the tune of famous Christmas songs such as "Joy To The World", "Jingle Bells" or also "Deck The Halls". Hilarious in context of the film!

Overall, Santa's Slay is the perfect Christmas film you never knew you wanted!

It's funny, festive, and not as bad you would imagine! I really recommend to check this one for the holidays, it's A Must Watch for the season!

Easily one of the most random and most fun Christmas films ever made! I'd even say it's right up there with the original Die Hard! It's a really funny film. It's "not just scary, [it's] educational!"

And not because it's really bad or anything. It's such a fun enjoyable film! This former (Jewish) wrestler star is just so fun playing this mad Santa Claus! This movie has it all, swearing grandmas, strippers and lots of deaths! It even bringing some nobility back to curling giving it such a key part in the film, and a great well-made Rankin/Bass Christmas special parody! It's an instant classic!

I give it:
2.5 / 3 Necronomicons!

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