Monday, April 11, 2016

#Recap - Batman v Superman

Today I finally saw Batman v Superman. That's right, I finally watched this one!

Today I also watched Joe Dirt 2 earlier one. And let me say it right away, both films were pretty bad, really random and complicated for no reason. But at least Joe Dirt 2 had the honesty to say it: maybe they overwrite the plot a bit too much.

Come on, Zack Snyder and David Goyer, couldn't you have made this a lot simpler? And more organic?

Let's rename this film in a more honest way, this really was:

Batman Arkham: The Movie VS. Man of Steel 2: Justice League Chapter 0: Jumping to Conclusions, the movieTM

There, that one's free for you, Warner Bros.!

I wanted to go in this one without any expectations. I know it's been getting a lot of criticism. And making a ton of cash - because, obviously. Getting a lot of hate. And a lot of defense from the fanboys.

Boy, didn't I expect to see something quite like this...

Yes. "The Film". This seemed like a confusing mess from the start. Giving this entire project to this edgy "hype" writer David Goyer and this Michael Bay-wannabe director Zack Snyder seemed like the only decision Warner Bros. could make to get the ball rolling.

And from the looks of it they went crazy with things. They had the keys to the entire DCU! And they still have, from the looks of the 10+ movies the studios have already lined up.

As you might know, I've always been a long time DC fan. I remember following all the Bat-titles for such a long time. My favorites used to be Robin, Batgirl (Cassie, then Steph), Birds of Prey and Batman/Superman.

Let's put it right out there: the movie is... ok. Just ok.

It's messy.

The film had such a strange tone, like Snyder was trying to be way too artsty for his own good. A sort of prentious tone. I'm not even talkign about the whole Christian imagery people already talked about all over reviews, just the way the film was trying to be a lot more than it actually was.

I'm not writing this to change ideas of any of you fans out there. If you liked Man of Steel, chances are you will love this film. If you're enjoying the current DC in the funny pages, you will probably love this film.

As a fan of the older DC Comics, or simply good movies, this was pretty much a huge convulsed mess the marketing had been trying to save for years now.

And why did it even need to be this long? over 2 hours and a half? Filmmakers simply don't know how to edit their films nowadays. "More" never equals "better", but just "more". Too much, in fact. I always loved these shorter films of old that could throw you into a whole universe and world for simple an hour and a half and yet completely engage you in the narrative, you wouldn't see the time going on.

Nowadays? Studios try to justify higher ticket fees with longer films... and these films are just long stretched-out action pieces, they don't even have the narrative to support these longer runtimes.

Everybody was acting out of character... Superman was still as much out of character as he was in Man of Steel. Batman was out of character, killing people all over the place voluntary. Heck, Lex Luthor was completely out of character, basically playing the Joker in disguise as Lex... Alfred was fun though.

Oh, and Wonder Woman? She was just... there. She kicked ass. Her official theme song kicked ass. Then again, she didn't do anything much, really.

Doomsday was so bad... he was actually perfect in an extreme 90s-kind of way. I get why they made him from Zod in this film, at least it provided a backdoor, a way to actually defeat this unstable monster for once (kryptonite!).

It all culminated in a video game ending, which reminded me of a lesser version of the cutscenes you have in games like Injustice or DC Online.

What about the "V" part of the title? The two fought for some reason near the end, a really dumb reason when you get down to it, but don't worry they're friends after that as Bruce told Ma Kent.

The Batman fight scene to free Martha Kent (Martha Kent! Martha Wayne!! Goyer and Snyder, you guys are so clever...) was really well short and pretty kickass... minus the gun parts in my eyes.

I absolutely loved the shot we finally got of the Trinity together on screen, at last! And The Flash came in there for no reason "Am I too early?" Yep, wrong movie, Barry! See you next time!

The ridiculous "teasers" Bruce sent Wonder Woman completely took me out of the film.

All in all, it's was a fun dumb movie. But I would have preferred to be directly watching the Justice League movie they keep teasing us. Those Parademons looked great!


  1. Dull, Boring and convolutely confusing. I just wanted a fun film, and I was already looking at my watch in the 30 minute mark, thinking it was 1 hour long. Can't say I'm holding as high hopes for Suicide Squad, but at least they're adding in more "fun" into it, so maybe.

    1. And it lasted like 3 hours or something.. I mean, this was like a bad Michael Bay film, only a lot more pretentious for absolutely no reason...

      I miss my old DCU... sigh..