Wednesday, January 1, 2014

MR Troll 2

Today, let's start the year by reviewing one - if not the - best movie ever made! Or was it the worst, I don't remember...

But Eyz, what about Troll 1? Who cares! It's not like these two films have anything to do with each other!

Movie: Troll 2 aka Goblins
Directed by Drake Floyd (aka Claudio Fragasso)
Release date 1990
Genre Monster/horror B-movie
Country USA/Italy

Since words cannot simply describe this... err.. movie, allow me to simply use the following pictures:


Originally filmed under the title "Goblins", but then turned into a sequel to the horror film "Troll" because the producers feared the film wouldn't be able to sell.. without the use of another bad movie's title...?

With sub-par acting that seems to come from an amateur fanfilm (most people weren't exactly actors per say, such as a dentist, etc.), very special effects, a strange message anti-vegetarian (really?!), cheap looking masks bought at the local supermarket, a crazy non-sensical plot which only purpose is to slightly tie one scene into another (written by an hamburger/fast food owner, which explains the anti-vegetarian bit actually) and The. Best. Dialogues. Ever. Written. Ever. Period.

How did the kid actor not end up in Hollywood blockbusters?! And that Grandpa ghost who wants to help but doesn't want to interact with the rest of the family! And those oh, so very clever Goblins and their tricks ("Nilbog"... I didn't see that coming! those guys are pretty darn' cunning!)! And that random Goblin Queen who just wanted to make some popcorn with that guy! Waitaminute, did he survive the entire plot? I don't recall seeing him die afterwards...

It's a treasure of modern cinema... one for the history books, with many deep layers, you can rewatch it a thousand times and not have seen every pearl every scene as to offer...

On a scale of 3 Reb Browns, with 3 being Yor, 2 being Space Mutiny, 1 being Captain America and 0 being Night Claws, I give this film...

I give it:
2.5 / 3 Reb Brown!

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