Thursday, March 27, 2014

#Movie NEWS! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles official trailer

Oh, my glob... It's even worse than I thought it would be...

... I'm zero motivated about this whole thing. I knew it wouldn't be that great... but come on, there's so many things bad with it. Even the few who are trying to call it good know in their heart in a couple years they'll either will have forgotten all about it or remember it as that awful TMNT film...

Let's get the good stuff away right out:
- Some throwaway references to the original comics/original movie/and 80s series (April a reporter, the metro reveal scene, etc.)
- It's a modern TMNT film (which for some youngster = good movie, because they can't accept older movies or something...)
- ... and that's it.

- I know from the start, after the casting PR, this was going to be bad... but Megan Fox in a movie? Usually never a good sign.
- Oroku Saki/Shredder is a white guy now. 'Nuff said!!!
- this feels and exactly looks like Bay!Formers. They didn't even need to properly get Michael Bay as director to make it bad... He probably not only acted as Executive Producer but probably was on the set and helped the production along.
- awful cheap CGi. While these generic 3D  graphics look perfectly "fine" and decent on robots, it just looks plain cheap on the Turtles. I mean even TMNT 3's cheap froggy suits looked better and more real than this crap!
- cheesy dialogues? check. cliché blockbuster trailer/action scenes? check.
- convulsed unnecessary reboot? double check!

I was all up for a new TMNT film! Even using CGi! And rebooting the franchise! I wasn't expecting much...

And all we got was this Bay!Formers-copy-paste job with a slight TMNT flavor to it...

I predict.. it will actually make quite a ton of cash. But quantity (of cash at the box office) doesn't mean quality. So this will be quickly ditched and forgotten, I imagine.

The generic art direction (what art direction?!?), the CGi, the casting (Plastic Bimbo-Fox and white-washed Shredder..)... argh.. this is so bad...

..on another hand, this will finally make TMNT3 good in retrospective. Kinda how the RoboCop reboot and The Legend of Chunli made RoboCop 3 and Van Damme's Street Fighter respetcively a ton better in comparison.

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