Monday, May 12, 2014

1PanelReview Deadpool (game)

I really originally intended to review this one last year, but for some reason I just kept forgetting to do so or putting it aside for later... So I'll let Deadpool take over this review to finally get it done. Wade? Can you do that for me?

"Sure, sure, buddy. I'll cover your ass just this one time. Hey, at least I'm not reviewing an X-Men movie, amIright?"
-Wade Wilson, merc' with a mouth, eternal romantic and fastest chimichanga eater in the East Coast.
What it is: Deadpool       

Which is: A comedic beat 'em all videogame
Created by: High Moon Studios/Activision/Marvel Entertainment 
Year: 2013
Available on: Xbox 360, PS3 & PC

Deadpool is a kickass action game developed by those guys that made a couple of Transformers game, starring yours truly. It's a third person action game, a beat 'em all to be precise, if ya wanna be that pedant about it. It's a videogame, okay? And I kick ass in it! And there's a couple of X-Men trying to get into my spotlight, some C-List villains and a couple lovely gals. Oh, and Cable, ol' buddy, ol' pal and all of his manly pecs glory.

What's Good about it: Well, first of all, it's a game about me. ME, baby! Deadpool from top to bottom (buttocks included!). 
The game is pure fun, an old school-style "hack and slash". Who needs online multiplayer and Arkham Asylum style gorgeous graphics/gameplay? Not me, I'm not a sell out like ol' pointy bat-hears! But I digress (into another continuity, let's not delve into that barrel o' ol' stinkin' fish...).
There's a ton of levels, which I already can't remember. Because there's so many of them! You got a sewers level, a factory level, a building level.. HEY! Who ripped off old 16-bit beat 'em all!? This smells video game clichés a mile away!....AND that's why I love it! Classic videogame shenanigans! See how I fell back on my feet here?! I should write all of this down! Waitaminute, that's exactly what I'm doing!!! Quick, interwebs! Save my notes for my future autobiography!
Ahem! *cough*
It's a fun game, yadda yadda. Tons of levels. Ah, right! They do get a bit boring at the start, and repetitive later on. But in-between it's all solid gold (unless Activision scrapped my idea to have my game discs made out of gold, in that case it's simply solid plastic).
It's a funny game, with plenty of humor in typical Deadpool fashion! Written by my "modern era" writer Daniel Way! (did they fire him already?! Oh... they did? I was getting sick of his constant breaking the fourth w... oopsies, "Wall-Ception"...)
The music seriously KICK ASS (no trademarked infringed, see? I didn't include the hyphen, whatever the dictionary tell me that is). I mean, like seriously ass-kickin' rockin' badass! Plus you'll get my awesome DEADPOOL(TM) theme song cue stuck in your head forever (and ever). D~ead~pool!!~ Come on, air-guitar with me! *duh duh dee duh na na *D~ead~pool!!~*
Finally there's plenty chimichangas around, in fact that will more that make up for it for Daniel Way's lack of Mexican Food during his run on my book!
Finally, this is classic 'Pool with all of his "Amazing Friends". Wolvie, Cable, heck even Domino guest star in my game! Because I'm that kind of a swell guy!
Ah, Death! Lady Death! The Grim Reaper! The big caboose! The big cheese! (huh.. getting sidetracked here...) My love, prettier than ever thanks to her Dia de los Muertos-relooking! I never saw her, err.. shapelier than ever! RRrrroaaR!~

What's Bad about it: First of all, the fact I'm about to say that some things were bad in a "Deadpool Game" makes me more sad than the day they canceled Sliders. 
Like I said, some levels do seem to drag on or get a bit boring/repetitive through the game. While my hilarious sense of humor will help carry you through miles and miles of boring Genosha levels (booo! No More Mutants! wait, did I turn into the Scarlet Witch here for a minute!? *looks down* awww...), miles and miles of boring Genosha levels do get, well, boring after a while.
I'm sorry guys. I think I broke the "4th Wall" down completely to the ground. I mean, there's like, no more wall to speak off. Was there a plot in this game or was I talking all the way through my own time for glory!? Oh, that's right. I threw the manuel and the script at the start.. what was the story again?? Something something, Sinestro. Then Genosha. Then, errr, Cable. Something from the future and then... AAah, forgetaboutit. We're not here to win an Academy Award. I just wanted to have my first solo game down. Then we can iron things out in the sequel, right Marvel? Right? Anyone??
The gameplay while fun and simplistic... was... well... simplistic. I'm sad to tell you guys at High Moon this, but, I fear that might not do much for "today's gamers". Those a-holes... We shoulda offered them more disc-locked DLCs and alternate costumes.. And free tacos with every copy of my game.
Finally... no Bob? Really? Come on, guys! Where's my lil' buddy at? I mean, they even squeezed in her so many lame ass C-List villains... I miss you, Bob! Lil' buddy!
And finally finally, no Hit-Monkey? Whuuuuut? You know! That monkey mercenary Daniel Way came up with at some point?! After teasing my game through a fake Hit-Monkey game, you couldn't feature the little ape at some point like a boss fight or something?! You got all of my hopes up for no reason!? And you know how much I love monkeys... (or was that The Monkeys!? I can never remember which way is it... Way! Daniel Way! Ha! I crack myself up... they should have left ME in charge of the plot!)

Overall: It's a fun game! Not a great game mind you.

It's not even particularly good... but it still is so much fun! 

Nothing like you've never seen before, nothing new really. But it's a proven simple enough fun formula! And that's enough for me!

I mean, would you have expected to ever see me, DEADPOOL(TM), get my own game at some point, like ever ever!?!

I wish there were more humorous games like this out there, nowadays everything seems so dull and taking itself way too seriously (you know what Mass Effect really needed?? Besides a good ending I mean?? Chimichangas! Thinkaboutit! It all makes so much sense!)
I give it: 2 / 3 Quacks!

1 comment:

  1. While I haven't played the game, story kinda bugs me a lot. Mainly because it feels like I'm watching the exploits of Deadpool, the swearing, sexed-up clown, you know? While I can't say I've read any of Way's story, just seeing Deadpool like that in general feels incredibly jarring to me, that it's probably what put me off in buying the game more so.